An Ode To Self-Love, According to How To Be A Bawse

Last month, I got my hands on How To Be A Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life by Lilly Singh.

Lilly Singh (mostly known as Superwoman) is an actress, comedian and Youtuber, creating content filled with comedy skits, motivational talks and more.

She created this book as a guide to being a BAWSE – “a person who exudes confidence, reaches goals, get hurt efficiently, and smiles genuinely because they’ve fought through it all and made it out the other side.”

So far, I’ve read part one and it left me with a sense of motivation and an increase in self-love. Here are my three takeaways:

Acknowledging Your Mistakes

“Mistakes don’t exist just to make us feel bad about ourselves; they are opportunities that we should not ignore or shy away from.” (Call Yourself Out, pp. 40)

Sometimes, I forget how important it is to make mistakes. I still have a tough time accepting my own. However, mistakes can make you stronger.

In undergrad, I was terrified of critiques. The thought of someone ripping my work to shreds made me nervous and sent me down a spiral of self-doubt.

But, it wasn’t until my last year I finally understood the real importance of mistakes. I started to take into consideration how beneficial critiques were. I welcomed the marks and comments because it made me a better writer, student, and person.

It made be tough to hear, but making mistakes can take you on the path to perfecting your craft, learning about yourself or doing something completely new.

Breaking Down Your Layers

At chapter 8, Send The GPS Deep, Lilly breaks down how we project ourselves to others v. who we truly are.

As human beings, we have many layers that we show to our parents, our friends, our colleagues, etc. We bring about different perceptions, but connect it back to our authentic self.  But for some of us, one layer can be a complete stranger to another.

In this chapter, Lilly relates us to tiramisu:

Layer I: What I Tell Other People
Layer II: What I Tell Myself
Layer III: The Actual Reason

For me, I try to break the ice by providing a balance between humor and comfort. I want to present myself as casual and open enough to relate to people. However, I’m freaking out inside. I’m second guessing my thoughts and rehearsing my next moves in my head.

The actual reason is, as much as I hate to admit it, I care about what others think. (Don’t we all?) I have a need to prove to others I can be a good friend or colleague or anything interesting. As I said in the previous section, I’m scared of making mistakes.

You don’t know what you’ll might find when you begin to pull away the layers that make you who you are. You might find a hidden gem that is stopping you from expressing your true authentic self.

An Ode To Self-Love

As individuals, we have the habit of praising, supporting, and loving others. However, we decide to put our own praises, support and feelings aside.

For me, I’m at a moment in my life where loving myself is essential. I spent so much of my life not liking who I was and not taking the time to love myself.

In chapter 11, Be In Love, Lilly talks about the importance of self-love. Sometimes it’s difficult to praise yourself because you don’t want to come across as narcissistic or selfish.

When discussing her journey to self-love and battling depression, Lilly mentioned this:

“There will be moments, days, and even weeks where you relapse and feel like you’re back at square one. When I experienced these episodes, I had to treat myself with extra love and care. I didn’t want to go back to a place of depression, so I became my own best friend.” (Be In Love, pp. 65)

By the end of the chapter, she encouraged her readers to write their very own love song to themselves. She suggested to write five things (aside from physical appearance) that you love about yourself. Here’s mine:

  • My passion for things that interest me
  • My hardwork and determination
  • My sense of humor
  • My decision-making skills
  • Being a great listener

It’s okay to fail, to strip away your layers, and write down every single thing you love about yourself. The journey to self-love is opening up about things you’ve pushed away because you’re uncomfortable or scared to admit.

It’s important to learn about yourself on your own and take a moment to really think about the obstacles you’re letting overcome your dreams and desires. What’s stopping you from loving who you are? Appreciate your faults, break down those walls and come to a realization that you’re amazing.


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